Ok, ok, so I’ve bored you with all that riding bull-crap. Now for the real fun. My plan. My goal. My vision is to find the best Beef Jerky in the United States, as that I carve out my path. Listen to me, all beef jerky are not created equal! I have lived my life to prove it. We all have to make sure that Jack Links does not own us. That’s right — Just say no to Jack.
Each day I will buy new Beef Jerky and taste it. Be professional and make notes. Take pictures. Give a review. Then we can all share in the passion to seek the best of the best. Enough of that nonsense.
So today was a great day. I’m now in lovely Lafayette, Louisiana — 315 miles from Pensacola, Florida where I started. Nice ride, got off interstate 10 west and went on 12 west for a while and that was great. I got to see the real back door of Louisiana. Before that, I was in Alabama and Mississippi. I bailed from sleeping in Biloxi, Mississippi because it was not advancing my ride enough — even though its hard to believe that staying at the Hard Rock Hotel in Biloxi is more fun that Lafayette. But don’t be so quick and judge… I am staying at the Drury Hotel, $119 with my AARP card. What do you get for all that money? Well, how about free wifi, free breakfast, free dinner — yes free dinner. Louisiana’s best — mac and cheese, nachos and fresh hot cheese, steamed hot dogs, chili missing the meat, breaded chicken sticks and… FREE soft drinks — all you can gulp. Heaven. Not bad for $119. Room is typical Drury — popcorn walls and ceiling stucco. Feels safe enough.
Before that, I went to the BMW dealer in Pensacola to change my 600 mile oil. That took 2 hours. Also, I have the luxury to buy highway pegs to help with my cramped legs. Man, what a savior. Yesterday I was hurting bad with my legs tucked in. I needed to stretch. Highway pegs allow you to get the blood flowing. Happy.
So what do you do during the ride? Well, I look into peoples cars for sure. For example, I love to see how people are distracted and who might take me out. So I see tons of people talking on phones — often with their eyes rolled back into conversation. I watch people eat donuts, text is a big thing and the winner today? A very large african american lady with giant massive fatty breasts and belly to match eating a bucket of french fries. Yes, bucket! I hung with her watching her drive and place the bucket on her belly and drive, eat and drive and eat… Gosh, this is a lady of my dreams — not to mention her cardiologist.
I also want to mention that in Louisiana there is a bridge like no other I have ever seen. It is about 20 miles long. Massively long. It is about mostly 30 feet above the Louisiana swamp land. Lord only knows how they built this monster of a bridge in swamp water? Thousands and thousands of pilings holding the large 4 lanes of traffic. The swamp is pretty cool also. It houses lakes, rivers with full-on trees in them where you only see the top 50 feet of the tree. Never seen that either. In Florida, the everglades are mostly bushes in the water. In Louisiana, its trees in the water. Just so interesting. Worth the drive.
So tomorrow is the first day where I leave the main highways. I have a surprise visit and lots of back roads to Houston.